I haven’t been very successful at remembering my dreams lately, until last night or this morning.
I think I had a three part dream, and at the time, all three parts seemed disconnected in their surroundings and the people involved. But maybe they are related in some way.
The first part involved a guy I know, but I could never really see his face. And he was just always close, or trying to get close, but we were not really communicating. Everything seemed distant, and the time spent seemed almost pointless.
The second part of the dream was that I was driving downtown with some friends. The driver was a g uy- a friend I know from dancing. We were in some sort of mini van or something larger than an average car. I don’t even know if I recognized the other people with us. But on that same day, I was to go to meet a friend for a show that night, AND get packed up to go on a little getaway to Seattle the next day.
It felt as if I had packed too many events with too many people in the day, to have my head on straight. I had one little bag and one carry on sized suitcase in my friend’s car with me, as if I was so organized that I was packed and ready to go for the next day.
I guess I didn’t want to leave all the stuff behind in the car for some reason? So one of the guys with us, a shorter, stalky Asian guy (I have no idea who it was), took my small bag and carried it so that the strap went over his shoulder and across his chest.
My friend who was driving, asked if I wanted to take the little suitcase, or maybe I just saw it? And I was really embarrassed because I noticed that the suitcase only had one shirt in it…possibly a long sleeved shirt or sweatshirt, maybe the olive green one I got in Atlanta? And that was it! I somehow thought I had packed, when in reality, there was nothing else in the suitcase.
I hoped that my friends didn’t notice, and I just left the suitcase in the car, somewhere in the middle row seats. I remember it was my small, black suitcase, the one I like to take with me whenever I go on a trip.
Something about the rush of doing things with these friends, and going all around downtown, knowing that I still had to find time to meet up with my other friend for show, got me feeling stressed. I was not relaxed, and had so much on my mind- how stupid I was not to have packed properly, why was it that I agreed to meet up with other friends when I knew I didn’t have a lot of time that day? And somewhere along the line, we all went in different directions and I no longer knew where the guy who had my small bag was. I mean, he didn’t take off with my stuff, he was trying to help me carry it. But now, on top of everything else, I had to figure out how to get a hold of him to get it back.
The third part of my dream turns a little, or… a LOT. I am driving this time, and it doesn’t feel like I’m driving the Mazda that I own. Instead, I am driving a small jeep or something. Maybe it is the one I drove over 8 years ago, a white YJ kind of a jeep? All I know is that it was not a regular car, and it seemed to have more openings in it, as if the top was down or there were no windows- jeep style, you know?
So for some reason, I’m driving along this kind of gravely road. I have no idea where I was in the dream, or where I was headed, but it seemed like I knew at the time. But suddenly, …actually, the strange thing was that it didn’t seem sudden. I could see it happening early on, and slowly, there was another car heading towards me from the opposite direction. I don’t even think it was going fast, but it felt like it was cutting me off from the very little space I had in my “lane”. But I didn’t want to hit him, even though I could have just swirved to the left where there seemed to be absolutely no traffic and a lot of space. So I sacrificed myself somehow, and swirved to the right, so the car could go through without any problem. And suddenly, (okay, there’s the suddenly), I realize that it’s the edge of a gravelly kind of cliff. Not the kind that falls off into water or thousands of kilometers below, but just one that makes a drastic dip from what was the top of my road to now what became a slope that brought me and the car tumbling down to its bottom.
The funny thing is that I could feel the bumpy, rocky ride all the way down, and I didn’t fall out of the jeep or whatever it was, even though it was so open. And the jeep seemed to bend and curve with the shape of each hit and roll throught the gravel, as if it was maleable, but still keeping me in it. I could see the pile of small rocks each time we hit and rolled a little further, but it didn’t feel like it hurt. But I could also feel how, from the moment I realized I was falling with the car, I let myself go. I mean, I didn’t fight it. I just went with the movement, wondering how far it would take me, but it was almost as if I was relaxing into it. I was upset and scared on the one hand, wondering how I would ever make it or how much repair the car would need (obviously, my priorities were mixed up for some reason). But I felt so defeated and tired of my life just rolling into one bad pit after another, that I just decided to give up, and let whatever happen, well,…happen.
But the reason I feel like these dreams were somehow connected is because one of my worries after I stopped rolling, and ended up at the base of the slope or hill or whatever, was how I was going to get my bags back. (oh my god! haha!), and how I was ever going to make it for the show that night (what the heck? dreams are weird- haha!), and why I added so much to my plate when I knew that I was looking forward to a getaway to Seattle. And think at some point, I blamed it on the guy from the first part of the dream. Or I blamed it on myself for spending wasted time with him.
And somewhere along the line, two or three guys who must have seen me roll down the hill tried to lift me out. But the weird thing is that they somehow were lifting me up and out WITH the jeep. Both the jeep and I were being lifted at the same time, and suddenly, there was this ledge at the top of the hill, that I didn’t know was there before (because I don’t think it was there originally). My dream must have just stuck it in there later. And those guys were standing at the ledge, trying to lift me and the jeep up with ropes or something, and they had to get me up and over the ledge bars (there were simple wooden bars at around their chest or waste level that marked off the ledge) in order to get me safely back “on the road”, so to speak. I woke up before I knew whether I got there or not. I think I was getting there, but the jeep finally had to be dropped or something like that. So weird!
The dream does make sense or add a little more understanding to some of my recent real-life experiences and feelings. I mean, I AM supposed to go to see a show tonight with a friend, and was excited about a little getaway to Seattle, and I do feel like I’ve been trying to squeeze a lot of errands in before the trip. But I don’t know a lot about dream symbolism and would be curious to know what other people think.
I realize you’d have to know me to make any conclusive interpretations of all this. But if anyone would like to comment on any of the dream, or if you know anything about dream images or symbols like falling off a cliff, or rocky roads, or empty suitcases (haha! That one I find really intriguing), feel free to share your thoughts. I’m open to hearing whatever it is you want to say.
Catch That Dream 